Raising boys who are strong and kind

For parents of teenage boys today, the conversation about masculinity can feel confusing. Online voices compete loudly for attention, and not all of them are healthy influences. The recent documentary Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere, presented by Louis Theroux, offers a timely reminder of the environment many boys are navigating.

The film explores the “manosphere” – a network of online influencers who promote hyper-masculine ideals and controversial views about gender roles. Through interviews with prominent online personalities, Theroux shows how these figures build large audiences of young men by promising success, confidence and power. Yet the documentary also reveals the contradictions beneath the surface, where outrage and attention often become the real currency of the online world.

For parents, the message is clear: the ideas shaping boys’ understanding of masculinity are increasingly coming from digital spaces rather than from families, schools and communities.

But this conversation is not simply about criticising harmful influences. It is also about offering boys a better vision of what being a man can look like.

Dr Ray Swann from the Foundation for Positive Masculinity argues that the answer lies in developing “positive masculinity” – a model that emphasises authenticity, connection and motivation in young men. Rather than reinforcing rigid stereotypes, this approach helps boys understand themselves, build respectful relationships and contribute meaningfully to their communities.

Importantly, Dr Swann notes that many boys are exposed to “manosphere” ideas through social media algorithms that repeatedly serve them increasingly extreme content. Teaching boys to question what they see online – and giving them the emotional language to talk about relationships, respect and identity – is therefore essential.

For parents of teenage boys, the goal is not to reject masculinity but to shape it wisely. Strength and kindness are not opposing traits. In fact, the strongest boys are often those who can show empathy, stand up for others and stay true to their values.

Raising boys who are both strong and kind begins with conversation. Ask what they are watching online. Talk openly about respect and relationships. Share stories of men who use their strength to serve others.

Because in a noisy digital world, the most powerful influence on a boy’s understanding of manhood is still the example and guidance he receives at home.

For more on this topic visit Beyond the Manosphere: What Our Boys Need From Us

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