Communicating with your son

When kids are stressed, they often find it hard to communicate with their parents. Depending on their age, stress can look very different for each child.  While some may shut down and stop talking, others can fly into fits of rage and even become physically violent.

One of the best things we can do as parents is learn how to communicate with our children.

Knowing they have a safe person who will listen and not judge when they’re going through a tough time is so important for their emotional wellbeing.

There are three types of communication styles – which is yours?

Assertive communication – not blaming others and taking turns to listen

Passive communication – giving the silent treatment and avoiding conflict

Aggressive communication – being forceful, not listening, harsh and blaming

Things we can do as parents to support great communication with our sons.

Notice your own communication style and make changes if it’s aggressive or passive

Teach your child about the three communication styles

Ask questions and share concerns, rather than assume and criticise

Encourage face-to-face instead of electronic or online communication

Hit pause – take time to calm down, think and then talk further

Summarise to your child what you heard them say

Don’t avoid conflict – calmly take the lead in facing it

Some common causes of stress in children

• Exam stress, can be in the lead-up to exams or waiting for results
• Friendship issues
• Tiredness
• Peer pressure
• Tension at home
• News events
• Changes at home or school, even positive changes such as a new home or sibling

 

For further information and for help on what to do if communication has broken down, visit Communication Tips | How to Talk to Your Kids | Kids Helpline

 

Brought to you by Brighton Grammar School

This article is about Parenting