Helping Boys Build Real Connections

As parents, we all want our boys to grow into confident, kind and connected young men. But today’s world can make that tough. With influencers like Andrew Tate dominating social media, and easy access to online content that promotes unhealthy ideas about manhood, many boys are left thinking they need to be tough, distant, or dominant to be ‘a real man’.

From as young as four, boys start picking up the message that showing emotion or seeking closeness isn’t “masculine”. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Research into positive masculinity tells us that boys thrive when we support both their knowing (what they learn) and their being (how they live and act). Here’s how we can help them find real connection and belonging:

1. Encourage authenticity
   Being authentic means being comfortable in your own skin. Boys need to know it’s okay to be themselves – sensitive, funny, curious, even unsure. We can support this by being present, listening more than we speak, and keeping a sense of humour and play.

2. Promote their voice
   Boys need chances to talk about their world. Try simple routines like “two roses and a thorn” at dinner – two good things and one challenge from the day – this can help them to explore feelings.

3. Celebrate the good
   Call out the kind, caring and thoughtful moments your boy shows. Praise publicly and keep criticism private. When boys feel seen for their goodness, they’re more likely to repeat it -and seek the same in others.

Helping boys stay connected to their real selves, and to others, is one of the best ways we can support them to grow into emotionally healthy men.

Read an extended version of this article at Supporting Boys to Belong

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