Raising boys in a complex world: Why positive masculinity matters
There’s been a lot of talk lately about the need to ‘update’ male behaviour, especially in light of the #MeToo movement and the ongoing struggles we see in society. But while boys are often seen as part of the problem, they’re also key to the solution – and they need our support.
Right now, many boys are growing up in a confusing world. They’re told they’re privileged by systems that benefit men, yet they also face real struggles. Boys are more likely to underachieve at school, struggle with mental health, misuse drugs and alcohol, face violence, and sadly, die by suicide. They’re less likely to have strong social connections and more likely to bottle up emotional pain.
This is a wicked problem – with no simple solution. Yes, boys need to understand issues of power and privilege. But we also need to accept that male health is in crisis. Addressing both is possible, and essential.
After 25 years working with boys and young men, I believe the way forward is through Positive Masculinity – a strength-based approach rooted in wellbeing science. It’s not just about fixing what’s “toxic” but building what’s healthy and strong.
Our research identifies three key traits for healthy masculinity:
Connection – Boys need to build respectful, non-violent relationships and social skills.
Motivation – Encouraging boys to find purpose and contribute meaningfully to their communities.
Authenticity – Helping them understand themselves, express emotion, and stay true to their values.
These traits need to be taught (what we call “knowing”) and practised (or “being”). Whether in the classroom, on the sports field or at home, boys need opportunities to learn about boundaries, consent, emotional language, and healthy relationships – and then be supported as they practise these skills in real life.
Importantly, boys aren’t broken. They’re brimming with potential, and when we guide them with care, clarity and high expectations, they rise to the challenge. By embracing Positive Masculinity, we can help raise a generation of emotionally aware, connected, and purpose-driven young men – exactly the kind of men the world needs right now.
Excerpt from an article by the Positive Masculinity Foundation. Read more here
Brought to you by Brighton Grammar School
Dr Ray Swann is Deputy Headmaster and Head of Crowther Centre at Brighton Grammar School, an all-boys school in Melbourne. His professional background includes consulting, research, lecturing and coaching. He is a father of two teenagers. This article is about Wellbeing
YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY
Subscribe to Understanding Boys. It’s free!
Got boys? Sign up for tips and advice you'll actually use.