by Katie Smith

10 things I want my sons to know

Young aviators at the airport with a homemade airplane

When the universe gave me two beautiful sons, I knew right away how I wanted to raise them. And because I have encountered quite a few less than pleasant men in my life, I knew what I didn’t want to do. I’m sure they will still be unpleasant sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to prevent it.

This is what I want them to know:

  1. Size doesn’t matter

Yes, I am talking about your biceps (and other appendages), but I am also talking about your bank account. Someone will always have more than you. Don’t focus on having the biggest or best of everything. Spend your time focusing on other stuff, like being a good human being. Surround yourself with those who genuinely like you for you; who couldn’t care less about your bank balance or material possessions. They will be your true friends.

  1. Don’t drive like an idiot

I don’t care if you just got your license and are cruising around with your mates, or even if you’ve got the cash for a brand new Porsche. Don’t drive like an idiot. You are not invincible. You are not the only person on the road. You are not going to impress anyone.

  1. Be clear to women you are intimate with

I would like to think you will only be intimate with girls you are in a relationship with, but that would make me pretty naive. If you don’t want a commitment outside of a one-time fling, be very clear. If you want to be in a relationship, be very clear about that too. It can be hard to put yourself out there, but don’t let someone walk away because you were too afraid to be vulnerable. Also, don’t let someone walk away thinking you want more from them than you really do.

“Don’t try to be a perfect man. Just be a good man, a decent man.”

Katie Smith
  1. Notice

Take note of things. Be aware. If it is a beautiful night, go out and look at the stars. If you see something that needs to be done for someone and you are capable, do it. If your partner gets a haircut, has PMS, or says they could totally go for some chocolate, take note of that too.

  1. You will go far if you are kind and generous

Be a generous tipper, donate to charity, and give your time and your talents. You never know who you will meet and the lives you can change by being kind and generous. Everyone you meet is going through something – be as kind and tolerant as you can be. Or walk away.

  1. Don’t bother caring what other people think about you

Don’t conform. You do you. Own who you are. If people are not doing something you want to do, sometimes that is even more of a reason to do it.

  1. Marry someone who rocks your soul

If you choose to get married, don’t settle. Don’t worry if I will like them. If they make you happy, that is enough. Just make sure they make you truly happy, bring you laughter and really encourage you. Most of all, make sure they bring out something in you that nobody else can.

  1. Don’t be afraid to get emotional

There is nothing more attractive than a man who is in touch with his emotions. If you want to cry while watching a Disney movie, then you should. That’s the good stuff. Don’t hold it in.

  1. Ask for help when you need it

Don’t be too proud to ask for help. Surround yourself with people who will want to help you when you need it. Just remember to return the favour.

  1. Actions speak louder than words

If you say you are going to do something, then do it. And before you go opening your mouth to make promises, ask yourself if you are really serious. I am not just talking about calling a girl or helping a friend move; I mean the big things in life. If you said you would do it, then you should.

You are not what you say you will do. You are what you do

Don’t try to be a perfect man. Just be a good man, a decent man. People forget a lot of things, but they never forget the way you make them feel. 

Brought to you by Brighton Grammar School

Katie Smith had three kids in three years. She loves to write on her blog, wear faux leather pants, eat at burger joints, and make beautiful things. She pays her kids to rub her feet and play with her hair. This article is about