14 great things about being a parent of teenage boys

Young suprised woman and her empty  fridge

The end of painful playdate chit chat. Mum-and-son movie dates. Sports spectating that doesn’t make you want to pull your toenails off. Here are 14 reasons why I love being a mum of adolescent boys. 

  1. You never have to clean out the fridge or pantry.
  2. No food expires. Ever.
  3. Your 10,000 steps a day come from walking the aisles at the supermarket and wearing a path in the carpet between his room and the laundry.
  4. You no longer feel guilty buying the ‘nice’ gloves for washing dishes because now you wear them all of the time, specifically when changing sheets.
  5. Remember how unpleasant odours used to make you gag? Your olfactory glands are now officially dead.
  6. When you want to punish them, you hide their cell phone in your tampon box. Although they are master sleuths who can sniff out Christmas gifts and your hidden ovulation chocolate, they will NEVER find that phone.
  7. They travel in herds. Once your son hits 13, you will never again have a single-family home.
  8. You no longer have any expectations that your son will either wipe the seat or flush the toilet. The days of cursing and frustration are over. Revel in your silent resignation.
  9. You watch the same movies. If it’s rated R he might even go and see it WITH YOU AT THE CINEMA. You laugh and cringe at the exact same moments and, whilst you are sometimes uncomfortable, you know without a doubt, he is YOURS.
  10. They no longer have to practice the recorder for music class. Now they practice the bass. Or the drums. Or the tuba. And while it still makes your ear bleed a little bit, at least they are practicing In A Gadda Da Vida and not Mary had a little lamb.
  11. Sports are actually fun to watch now.
  12. Their friends call you “Mrs *first initial of last name*” and you feel like you are on the set of Happy Days.
  13. Playdates are a thing of the past. Never again will you have to invite other parents to your home unless you actually enjoy their company.
  14. They THINK they know all of your parenting tricks, but they do not, and their ignorance is your superpower.

Brought to you by Brighton Grammar School

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